The Insane Ones
by RMP
Summary: What would it be like if a certain group of insane girls made it to Camp Green Lake (namely me and my friends). All my friends like it, so I figured I'd try all the readers here. Not nearly as stupid as it could be, I PROMISE.
1. Insane In the Flesh!

I mostly work on this story in school, when I'm bored. By the way, my friends and me in this story act JUST like we do in real life. Yes. We're really that insane. (I just put three of them that had read the book with me, not the ones that just watched the movie)  
The number in the little [ ] things lead to an authors note down at the bottom, I figured I'd do that to clarify a few things.  
The chapters in this thing are really short, too. I just took every * I made in my notebook and made it start a new chapter.  
Mmk? Enjoy!  
  
***  
CHAPTER 1: Insane.. In the Flesh!  
  
Four girls jumped off a huge yellow bus, squeaking with delight at all the dirt, dust, and tents.  
A couple boys with shovels eyed them curiously.  
"Oh my gosh, it's just like PARIS!" one of the girls yelled excitedly.  
"Grumblesnort," another agreed. The guard with them rolled his eyes and led them into a building. A man sat behind a desk.  
"Allyson, it's Mr. Sir!" one of the girls exclaimed, "Camera, Alyce, camera!"  
"I'm out of film. I wasted it all on the dirt clods!" Alyce said sadly.  
"Well, the dirt clods were very exciting. No worries!" one said sympathetically.  
Mr. Sir coughed loudly.  
"He's choking on a sunflower seed!"  
"Oh no!"  
"Call the fire truck!"  
"You need people first!"  
"I'm NOT choking!" Mr. Sir screamed.  
"Alrighty then," one of the girls said. She rocked back and forth.  
"Oh, no," another said.  
"What, what?" Mr. Sir asked frantically.  
"SUGAR RUSH!" the girl that was rocking screamed. All four girls started running in circles for about a minute. Then they stopped. One collapsed to the floor from exhaustion.  
"Ok. Can we have our orange suits now?! Can we spray paint a number on them?! I call 12!!" [1]  
"Alright," Mr. Sir said uncertainly. He led them into the orange suit place and the girls bit and scratched each other over who got which suit. Finally, after they got their suits on, and Mr. Sir ran off in fright, another man popped his head in the door.  
"I want you all to know I respect you," he started. One of the girls screamed, ran up to him, and hugged him.  
"Mr. Pendanski!"  
"Oooh," Mr. Pendanski said.  
"We know your speech by heart! You don't have to repeat it," Alyce said matter-of-factly.  
"Alright! I'll show you the D-Tent boys, then!" Mr. Pendanski, obviously glad he had fans, said.  
"D-Tent?!" one girl screeched, "We get to be in D-TENT?!"  
"Then I suppose you know the boys. I'll be going then, I suppose."  
The girls waved to Mr. Pendanski and marched out and to the D-Tent. All the boys were in the tent.  
They were Alan, Ricky, Jose, Rex, Theodore, Hector, Brian, and Stanley.  
Or Squid, Zigzag, Magnet, X-Ray, Armpit, Zero, Twitch, and Caveman.  
The girls introduced themselves to the staring boys. They were Taylor, Alyce, Mary Beth, and Allyson. [2]  
Taylor squeaked at Twitch. Twitch squeaked back. It was instant love. [3]  
"Alright. Zero isn't supposed to be here. He's supposed to be at home!" Mary Beth declared.  
"Oh.. I, um, stole some socks to go with the shoes I stole before and ended up here!" Zero informed everyone.  
Alyce fainted, since Zero talked. Mary Beth shrugged.  
"Works for me."  
Taylor and Twitch kept squeaking at each other. ***  
The next part that is supposed to be a chapter is really short, so I'll include it here before I wrap up this chapter.  
  
***  
That night they all lay on cots in the crowded tent (there were 12 kids, gosh!).  
"Not the luxurious type cots, eh?" Taylor asked Twitch.  
"Nope!" Twitch said cheerfully.  
Mary Beth leaned off her cot and grabbed a flashlight she had brought.  
"It's like that plain place in the ocean," she stuck the flashlight on her head, "The teacher says the fishies use lights to mate," she turned the flashlight on, "I have bioluminescence! I shine my light on you, you fall in love with me!" she shined the flashlight on Magnet. [4]  
He fell in love instantly. Literally. He fell off his cot. ***  
  
See? That couldn't have been a chapter.  
So I'll do the numbers now.  
[1] In gym, we have jerseys. My friends and I always argue over who gets the jersey with 12 on it. I don't know why, it's just some thing we have.  
[2] Alright. Taylor is my "fifth cousin by marriage" and.. a good friend. I've known her a long time. Yup. And she is a very slow reader, but she reads everything I write (including this) and loves it. Plus, she faithfully read Holes slowly but surely, and finished. So I HAD to put her in.  
Alyce and Allyson are twins. I've known them since second grade. They both read a lot and they're both huge goons. Just like me.  
And I'm Mary Beth. I'm just.. odd. Let's put it that way?  
[3] Taylor INSISTED she get to fall in love with Twitch. So, much to her unexpectedness, I came up with that silly little easy way out to make them fall in love.  
[4] The day I started this (or the day after, I forgot) our teacher taught us about bioluminescence. (for all those Finding Nemo people, the big fish with the light on it when they go down that big black space) She said they use that to mate and whatever ( I forgot what else ) and I told John, William, and Taylor (all who sit nearby) "Oh yea, I'm gonna shine my light on you and you'll fall in loooove" and I HAD to include it somewhere.  
  
Thank you. Have a nice day.  
I have plenty more to this story, but I'm not updating till I feel like typing or either I see a sign that at least SOMEBODY likes this. 


	2. Digging, Sleep, and Crazy Fighters

I DO NOT OWN HOLES! Thank you, have a nice night/day/evening. What the heck, have a nice TIME OF DAY!

"So how we going to come up with nicknames for you four?" X-Ray asked in the morning, while Mary Beth screamed in fury at waking up so early.

"Oh, we have nicknames. I'm Worm, Allyson is Gnome, Alyce is Quid, and Mary Beth is Nid," Taylor stated. 1

"Whatever you say, Worm," Twitch said with a dazed look on his face. He was lovesick.

"Would you like this piece of bread I stole?" Magnet asked Nid.

"How'd you manage that? And sure!" Nid ate the bread in one bite.

"My fingers are like magnets, I can't help it!" Magnet said proudly. He wiggled his fingers to emphasize his point.

Mr. Sir ordered them all to the lake, careful to avoid the _very_ excited girls.

Nid and Worm charged over to their spots to dig.

"Ha! I dug the first shovelful first!" Worm yelled happily.

"I got the second!" Nid shot back.

The boys, who had just started digging, stared.

Quid and Gnome joined in the argument.

By the time Quid got to her 20th shovelful, they were all lying on the ground, unable to move.

"I'm dying.. I'm dying.. Ooooh, I'm dead," Nid declared. 2

Worm laughed.

"I can't.. pick up.. shovel.. need.. shovel," Quid gasped.

Nid started yelling "MURDERER!" and ran behind Magnet.

The other girls looked up, saw the water truck coming towards them, and ran, too. Quid went behind Zero, commenting on his fluffy hair. Gnome ran behind Zigzag, commenting on his frizzy hair.

Worm ran behind Twitch, commenting on his twitchy ways.

"It's just the water truck," X-Ray said.

"A KILLER water truck!" Quid corrected.

Later, after the girls had carried an unmovable Nid back to camp, they sat at dinner. Worm's head collapsed on her fork.

"OUCH!" she exclaimed.

"So, whatcha' in for?" Squid asked.

"We killed this really annoying person at our school!" the girls said in unison, obviously proud of their achievement..

"You don't look much like killers," Caveman said.

"When somebody is as annoying as her, you'll do anything!" Nid said happily. Then she went back to sleep.

"Riiight," Zero said. Quid fainted because Zero talked. Again.

Gnome poked Zero with her fork over and over.

"Don't DO that!" Quid yelled.

"Don't tell me what to do!" Gnome yelled back. Gnome scratched Quid as Quid grabbed Gnome's arm.

They erupted in a series of biting and scratching and screaming. 3

Everyone in the room (counselors and lunch people included) stared.

Worm nudged Nid so she'd wake up and explain.

Nid stood, sleepily.

"They're twins. This is normal. Stare back at your food, Wheezies!" everybody stared at their food.

"I love it when people listen," Worm said.

Nid grabbed Quid and Gnome's head.

"Finish!" she ordered, "So I can sleep," she finished.

Quid bit Gnome one more time and Gnome scratched Quid.

"Okay, we're finished!" they said together.

"Good," Nid said. She collapsed on the floor, asleep.

The next morning, the only girl that would wake up was Nid, since she'd slept so much the previous day.

The rest grunted and snored.

"It's a beautiful mornin'!" Nid sang. She put her hands on her hips when the other girls still refused to get up.

All the boys watched from the tent entrance.

Suddenly, Mr. Sir charged in the tent.

"We ain't got all day!" he yelled. Twitch, caught of guard, squealed like a little pig and jumped to the ground.

With Twitch down, there was a gap in the boys that Mr. Sir could see through. He saw the girls and slowly backed away from them, terrified of their biting and scratching.

Nid laughed. She walked to Worm's cot. She leaned next to her and screamed,

"I'M A BETTER DIGGER THAN YOU!"

This caused Worm to jump off her cot and scream,

"NOOOOO! YOU'RE NOT!"

This caused Quid and Gnome to jump out of their cots, screaming,

"SAVE THE PEACHES!"

"What peaches?"

"Kissin' Kate Barlow's peaches," Quid said happily.

"Those are old and mushy and hairy.. and mushy," Worm said matter- of-factly.

"Let's dig!" Nid said, interrupting their debate. All the boys and girls charged out of the tent and to the lake, grabbing their burnt toast and shovels on the way. Worm rode on Twitch's shoulders, and Nid handed Magnet the stick part of her shovel and rode on the metal part, which was dragging on the ground. It was really too small to ride on, but she didn't care and did it anyway.

The boys joined in the contest to see who could dig faster this time. Zero actually wasn't the fastest when everyone else was trying.

Caveman was. Dun, dun, dun.

"I got 20th shovelful!" Caveman yelled.

"21!" Zero screamed.

"15!" Nid declared, out of breath.

"HAH! I got 17!" Worm bragged.

Later, the entire camp lay on chairs in the wreck room. Those that didn't have a chair were on the floor.  
The boys from other tents had abandoned their holes and dug closer to D tent, joining in the competition. Thlump, a boy from another tent, finished first. Gnome had gotten a piece of paper from Mr. Pendanski when he came with water and made a paper "crown" to symbolize Thlump's achievement. The last digger was one of those guys from a different tent that no one bothers to name. He seemed to go slow because of a bruised ego, which was caused by having not been given a name.

So.. that's all I got for now.

Number stuff:

1: From this point on, I'm using everyone's nickname instead of real name, it's faster.

2: I seriously do say this. I swear.

3: Allyson and Alyce did this the last time I went to their house. Allyson took a tater tot off of Alyce's plate. One tater tot. There was more. But no. They both wanted THAT tater tot. They started biting and scratching each other and screaming until their parents broke it up. ONE LOUSY TATER TOT. I don't even like tater tots.


End file.
